thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
