my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
