after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize