exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.