I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
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Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
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The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.