Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
