Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
