Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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