party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
50% drunk capacity currently
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
