I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
