this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
