You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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