I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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