White coat. Heels.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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