I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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