its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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