You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
