The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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