I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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