Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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