Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize