i barfeds in our rink
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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