My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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