He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
