a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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