her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
