my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
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