i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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