We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
