My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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