I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
