they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
