my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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