At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
