the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
