How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Randomize