dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
