yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
