I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
