Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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