i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
