can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
