If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
