ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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