New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
