? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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