I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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