What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
