dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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