If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
