HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
