tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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