I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
