I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize