i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
