I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
