You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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