It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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