okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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