i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
