I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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