so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
