Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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