Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize