You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
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How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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