So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
