I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
