i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
