My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
there is glitter all over my balls
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
