her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
