i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Shame - the story of my life.
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