Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
