I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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