Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
